Still Falling

Does anyone notice I'm still here?

Does anyone notice that even with the medicine it's getting worse?

Does anyone notice that even though I have made it two weeks, my problems have simply shifted?

Does anyone notice that it is harder and harder for me to keep my head above water?

Does anyone notice that I crave any expression of any love more than ever?

Does anyone notice that I am falling deeper and deeper?

And yet no one has any chance of saving me. Passed off so many times.... And I can't blame you.

I can't even find my list of happy things happy anymore.

Maybe it will end.....

This month is going to be the hardest.
I am so crazy afraid I won't get into the program.
I am away from the only form of counseling I know
I am away from my friends.
I am secluded.
I am adjusting to new medication.
I am "sent away" for my disorder....which by the way is now medically proven.
I feel like a pregnant chick being sent away until the problem goes away.
Plus I am now on medicaiton that the whole world tells me I should be ashamed of being on....
Yup...now is definatly the hardest.