Seeing Hell

"For we do not battle against flesh and blood but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms." ~ Ephesians 6:12

Man is that sentence true.

This is a spiritual attack. It's not something I can fight against. Atleast not with anything other than God. I've been reading "Prophet" by Frank Peretti lately. It was reccomended to me by a friend. And it is really good, and eye opening.

I know this is weird but God has always spoken to me very clearly. People who say that God doesn't really have a plan for them I think are crazy. I know when God is tellling me yes and I know when God is telling me no. And while often times I disregard this, it is never from a lack of knowing. And while not everything has a yes or no answer from God, the important things do.

Last night this was more than evidant to me. Things like nothing turned into a fight and I wanted to leave. But God was honestly telling me not to. In my head there was no logic behind it, but I know that I was not supposed to leave. I believe that my father knew this as well. When I was heading out the door he hugged me and gave me spiritual words of wisdom and love. And as I left, I knew I should turn back, but I didn't.

Now this probally sounds dumb but my father and I both have very odd spiritual connections. Not that we are more spiritual or anything like that but all the weird stuff you read about or only really pentacostal churches embrace... yeah... that's us. My dad can speak in tounges, I've never heard him and he rufuses to do it in public but I know that he does. My father gets very emotional when he talks about God. When God comes into the equation he feels so much deeper than anyone ever feels. He has told me many deep and strange things and I am sure that there is much more that I will never learn.

Now I don't speak in tounges or anything but I have my own set of weird gifts. I didn't even think they were weird until I began telling my friend about it and he said that that was a special gift from God. And I can tell you that last night, beyond a shadow of doubt, something did not want me alive.

As I drove into the snow, things started out fine and got way worse. It was the worst snow I had ever seen. It was dark, white, and alone. About an hour into the darkness I began seeing things that can only be described as something very simmilar to the dementors on Harry Potter, began to swirl around the car. They seemed to be manipulating the snow, throwing it up in insane whiteouts where I honestly could not see anything outside of my car except a wall of white with swirling black. My car would skid almost into the banks of snow or the large ditches on the sides. The music on my radio seemed to be manipulated to all talk about death.

Now because I am a christian, death is a sweet thing. It means passing into the arms of my savior and lord Jesus Christ and that is something that I can not wait to happen. But this did not feel right. It felt as if something was trying to steal me away. So I bean to pray... I began to pray as hard as I could. It was praising God and giving the glory to Him. I lost all concept of time so I can't tell you how long it took but things started to change. First my radio abruptly changed songs (it may not have been abruptly, but it seemed so to me) to "He's not finished with me yet" by Brandon Heath. The black swirls had always left my car alone but I could now see them struggling. The snow cleared up enough for me just to see that I had just crossed over into Fairview. (From the train tracks by Thistle until I crossed into Fairview I had had no idea where I was because the snow was so bad) At that point I knew that there was going to be no more grace if I chose to go against God again. He didn't want me to get to Ephriam that night. So I pulled off, swallowed my pride, and decided to stay with my grandparents for the night. This morning there was such a peace about leaving and I came and things went well.

I have no idea why God didn't want me here last night. Some people might think I am being silly and that blaming God for some snow is stupid. But I know beyond a shadow of doubt that God did not want me to leave, even before it had started snowing. I also know what I saw last night and what God's power did.

But things like that happen to me all the time. I know what it is and yes it scares me from time to time but this is my life. I don't know if it's something weird or special but I do know that it is me, and that God has a purpose for it in my life.