Kindred Souls

Today I was just haning when a friend decided to pour their heart out to me. They said that they and God were "on the out". Being allured by a past, just wanting answers that no one seemed able to give. Being pissed off at God. Having seen too much and knowing that God exists but wondering.... i don't know. But as my friend was talking I never felt more connected in my life.

Truth is I have had all the same thoughts and more lately. No matter what I read and what I research I have a really hard time accepting God for who He says He is. I don't know. I have NO problem at all believing there is a constant spiritual battle around me. And I know that God is true. And I know that God is more powerful. But....

I don't know. I guess I am just hung up on the why do bad things happen to those whom he loves deal. I mean I don't have a problem when things happen as a natural consequence but what about when you haven't done anything. I mean yeah, abuse makes you stronger. I've been around long enough to know that. But a God who cares and watches it happen just to make you stronger.... A God who created the world, knowing we woudl sin, KNOWING there would be that much pain. KNOWING what would happen, and yet saying it's worth going through all that so I can have thier glory.

And in the back of my mind i know that's wrong to say. But I want an answer. If God cares so much then wahy woudl he let it happen. How can I believe in a God who loves me when that happens. I know that God saved me, and I know that I coudl never meet his standard on my own. And I trust that it is his blood alone that makes it that way. But... it's hard to believe that God cares and loves me. Regardless of how in control He is.

It was nice to talk to someone else about it. and I hope that if we are seriously messed up that God will use our rock bottoms to brign us back up. But I don't know.....